My wife crippled me

How's that for a misleading title?

My left ear doesn't work very well anymore, but my right ear does. I think it's because I spent so much time on the phone with my wife, before we got married. When I talk on the phone I always keep the phone on my left ear, because it's more comfortable for me that way, but I think I wore it out.

But after a while of us talking on the phone all the time, it became apparent to me that the conversations were getting quieter and quieter. The real jolt came when I switched the phone to the other ear one day, and realized that it sounded so loud.

Don't get me wrong; I don't regret all that time we spent on the phone. I'd gladly give up my hearing to spend more time with her, even if it's only on the phone.

I don't talk on the phone that much anymore, but when I do, I almost always have to use my right ear, because I can't hear well enough with my left ear anymore. (Even though I still find it more comfortable to hold the phone there.)

Now, there may be some naysayers out there, who claim that I would have gone deaf anyway, and I shouldn't blame it on my poor wife. Who, after all, just wanted to spend some time with me, and get to know me, and who can fault her for that? And to those naysayers, I say this: Oh be quiet! You and your logic, and your rational thinking, and your ability to use your brain for reasonable discourse! Pfft!

I won't even talk about my eyes; I'll save that for another post. (Mostly because I can't even remotely blame my blindness on my wife, so it doesn't fit in with the topic of this post. Unless I can somehow claim that I went blind from gazing on her beauty... Hmm...)