Movie Review: Transformers

I saw Transformers last weekend. I didn’t like it. In fact, I thought the movie was terrible. I thought it was long, boring, and poorly written. It went something like this:

1. Scene with lots of terrible, poorly written dialog, which goes on much, much longer than it should.
2. A sudden chaotic flurry of action, which happens so fast you can’t tell what’s going on.
3. Repeat ad nauseum

Now, I know what you’re probably going to say. You’re probably going to tell me that you disagree. In fact, you’re probably going to tell me in very strong terms. How do I know this? Because I’ve already had this conversation numerous times. It goes something like this:

“I didn’t like Transformers. In fact, I thought the movie was terrible. I thought it was long, boring, and poorly written.”

gasp splutter “You what?!? You didn’t like—

“How… How could you not like…

“That’s my favourite movie! It’s the best movie ever made! I’m naming my first born Transformer!

“What the heck is wrong with you, that you didn’t like Transformers?!?”

About this time, I have to take a step back, because the spittle is starting to hit my face, and I get worried about some of it dripping down onto my shirt.

So if you really feel the need to leave a comment, and tell me that I’m an idiot for not liking Transformers, go ahead. But don’t expect me to suddenly change my mind, and think that the piece of crap called Transformers was actually worth watching. Ain’t gonna happen.